Monday, June 15, 2009

A look back

A little about me

Sometimes, this game tears me limb from limb.  Hence, the title of this blog.  It strains my relationships; it hogs my time that I could be doing other things like keeping up with my kitchen, or laundry.  I have let it, in the past, interfered with my life, my family, and my friends.  I try to make sure that never happens again.  It has also given me an avenue to be the social, flirty girl that I’m really not in real life.  So, it's a trade off.  Sure, it’s easy to think “wow, she really needs to get a different hobby” but the truth is that I’ve played this game since release in 2004 and my life has changed in so many ways over that time period. I started playing MMOs because my husband played and I was tired of being left out. I met some really great people along the way, through various games, and consider a couple of them to be friends “in real life”. When I started playing WoW in 2004, it was just me and my husband and our 2 cats. Now, it’s me, my husband, our 21 month old son and our 3 cats. My husband no longer plays, having found life in Magic The Gathering once again, so really this is my only “fun” after my son goes to bed around 7pm. Sure, I could sit around watching TV but I’d rather play WoW. Sue me.

A little about my toons

Each toon I make stems from a different time in my life or mood, and each one has a different part of my psyche.  My first toon, a warlock, I made because I liked casters in other games and I really had no idea what I wanted to do.  She was a human and ugh - I realized I hated their emotes, their walk, their run, their jump. I got her to 32 until it was really just painful to log in and play her.

Next comes Ricci, my rogue. She is very sassy, flirty, and gets in trouble a lot.  She’s a gnome, and I got her to 60 and stopped because there were just so many rogues around and in my friend’s raid group they needed hunters.

Which brings me to Ailah, my hunter. She is very business like, She doesn't mess around, this is how things are and that's that.  She was my hard(er) core raider.  I was a newer hunter in a team of 5-6 hunters and felt like I had something I needed to prove.

Finni.. ah, well Finni the priest is my deeply sensitive, shy, easily hurt and broken persona.  She was my favorite to play, and has become the hardest for me to bring myself to log her in now. Around her swirled so much drama - with friends, with family. It was overwhelming. During the time I was leveling her, I lost my job and was home during the day and looking for work. And playing WoW. To me, she became the symbol of everything I could possibly screw up in my real life. I guess that’s why I just can’t bring myself to level her anymore. She’s at lvl 70.

During the time of leveling Finni, I rolled a druid named Qirii (now named Ysinnia). I leveled her feral all the way to 70. I originally rolled her because I was out-leveling my leveling partner, Belghast, because I had so much free time on my hands. I had a blast playing her, and it was while leveling her that I learned I was pregnant. I was too tired at night to play much more than 20 minutes at a time so eventually I just turned off my account. When my lil one got to be about 6-8 months old and his nighttime schedule got to be a bit more predictable, and my husband was off playing MTG 3 nights a week, I reupped my subscription for WoW and started to play again. I played Finni mostly, because I could get groups easily as a healer. 

My druid, Ysinnia (Sinny) is my current main and I hope my last main.  I love her. She is everything that the other toons are, rolled into one.  I think she's honestly the closest "me" there is in this game.  While each previous "main" has embodied one facet of me, Sinny is all of me.  I honestly think this is why I can't play multiple toons at once.  How could I play Ricci, hard core flirt and then turn around and play Ailah, and be all business like.  People would think I'm split personality.  Maybe I am.  Each toon has a certain amount of time, my time, invested in them and as a result, I feel very strongly about who they are in the game.  I was reminded recently how much Sinny is like me, putting trust where it shouldn't be and the like, so it's taking some time to get back on my/her feet.  I don't have much desire to do much of anything in game right now - I log in and do my fishing and cooking dailies, and maybe some Wintergrasp. I did, however, pick up the Silver in the City achievement standing around in Dalaran fishing in that stupid fountain : ) 

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for revealing so much of your personal experience!

    I started playing when my husband started playing. I had friends who played and figured I wouldn't see him if I didn't play. I started with a Lock too, but that didn't last long :P And when I was unemployed a little over a year ago, I felt like WoW was all I was good at since everything else was messed up.

    I couldn't imagine having a kid. I just couldn't right now because I don't think I would be responsible enough...

    I hope Sinny stays your main too because I look forward to reading more about your perspective as a druid!